Happiness is a choice!

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2 years later, still learning from “Bald headed moments”

January 20, 2018

-a bald-headed moment is when you are suddenly vulnerable or taken by surprise and you turn it around into bettering yourself. https://youtu.be/u3JkAB53vc8 From the age of 10 years old, I knew I was a strong swimmer. I could jump off a high dive, bridge and be confident that I could swim to the side. It was a humbling experience and hard to believe that I was no longer that girl. This was a new normal for me. I could walk, talk and take care of myself. But I was unable to hike, swim and be the active person I have been my entire life. Because of this I started putting limitations on myself and felt like this was a reasonable limitation, even after 2 years of recovery. Here is an example; I have been a piano teacher for 20 years and played throughout my childhood. After chemo and radiation, my fingers started locking up. My right hand is swollen and sore. When I was asked if I could accompaniment a musical number in sacrament meeting  I replied that I had retired. I have played simple songs with my grandchildren, though I have to admit that put that talent on the

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The Shame of Cancer & How Being Impetuous Saved My Life

January 9, 2018

Really? Stage 4+ lymphoma, one week to live? I am the healthy one, I actually prided myself in my poverty.  Yes, I was prideful that I was poor,  and I grew my own herbs and bought in bulk, capsuled them, and made my own vitamins. I had my children at home to save money and live naturally. We raised our beef and chickens, fresh eggs and organic beef and potatoes out of the field. Big garden and a variety of vegetables. I would process a whole deer right off the foothills into bottles.  We lived off the land, I was a hippy kind of farm girl. Pillar of health.  I swore that I would NEVER allow chemo in my body. If I could have a 10 lb baby at home and live off the land, I could beat cancer with natural remedies! Oh, the shame of “How can I face the world and admit that I have cancer? ” Just pure embarrassment. I started using oils and herbs that would fight cancer. I am confident that this prolonged my life by a few weeks. But it was no match for this fast-growing cancer. My first thoughts were that I would just die

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What is “Real” at Christmas?

December 26, 2017

I felt so numb. My legs felt like wood. I am Christmas Carol. That is what my mom called me! But she is an angel in heaven and I think she is pretty busy. ( my mom painted these figuriness and notice the book says Christmas Carols, Yes that is about me:)               I would take pictures of off the kids in front of the Christmas tree. Yes, Tex is an angel in heaven and he wasn’t feeling the Christmas spirit that during this picture, maybe because the lump of coal in his stocking was mentioned 100 times a day!   Then I remember the Christmas I was exhausted and drank hot cocoa and watched movies as my children visited their father and we started a “new normal” Divorced parents after 25 years of marriage. Ya, that was a memorable Christmas.   Just 2 years ago I was pretty sure it was my last Christmas because of a life-changing cancer experience.    But now I am here to face these memories, and my heart, legs and mind just wasn’t sure what to do. This is the 1st time in a very long time that I was

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Hope Lodge gave me,”Hope”

April 11, 2017

All my cancer treatments were a quick stay in Salt Lake City at Huntsman’s hospital and back home for the first while. I knew there where other people with cancer because I would see them for the day. But then I was back home to my own little world. This all changed when I was told that I needed to continue with 18 radiation treatments. My aunt said that she would drive me every day from Bountiful Utah and take care of me. It sounded so comfy and perfect. I was worried about being a burden, but she assured me that it would be fine. She came down with a terrible sickness right when it was time for me to go to radiation. We needed to make different arrangements. I was terrified. We were told about Hope Lodge that had just opened. I could stay there and they even had transportation for me to get back and for to the hospital. To tell you the truth, I was so afraid to take care of myself. My mind wasn’t as sharp and it seemed like such a big city for this bald headed girl, not comfortable with herself. My sweet husband

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Happy Girl …has a secret

February 14, 2017

Yes this Happy girl has a secret to being happy. These are crucial for this girl recovering from cancer treatments. My Lymphoma doctor recommends these! I am not kidding! I haven’t had to have anything for depression but these. He told me to stay away from synthetic caffeine. For reals  I can’t tell you how these really help me. I was really needing Excedrin every day before these. I had to stop taking it before cancer treatments. It was so painful! The pain  I felt from going off Excedrin was amazing! Body aches and leg aches were almost unbearable.  That is good stuff! I feel like this is a much healthier alternative, though I don’t condemn anyone taking excedrin every day. Excedrin contains a combination of acetaminophen, aspirin, and caffeine. Acetaminophen is a pain reliever and a fever reducer. Aspirin is in a group of drugs called salicylates. It works by reducing substances in the body that cause pain, fever, and inflammation. This is my alternative. I keep it in my personal refrigerator in my master bath. I take one upon arising every morning. I feel happy and in love! That is good for everyone around me! I can wake

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