Happiness is a choice!

Why Succulents?

It was Christmas time and the only present I wanted was to be healed from Cancer. Christmas wishes do come true, I was given a clean bill of health 4 months later. My job was to stay healthy, stay alive and do my best to be happy and comfortable. The out pouring of neighbors and my community was outstanding. They took care of food for my family,( I didn’t care much for food at the time, let alone cooking) and I had plenty of hats to cover my bald head, and many lovely home made blankets to remind me of the world outside and those who were praying for me. Jim gave me the gift of life. I didn’t even know I loved plants so very much until he introduced me to the world of succulents. It was cold outside, but inside the dirt felt alive! Life supports life, the plants, rocks and dirt were breathing life into me. Jim would come home from dinner and the kitchen would be  covered in dirt, rocks, pots and PLANTS! I spent my days supporting life and these little guys supported me. Oh, I killed a few, (so sorry about that) but it

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Death changes you

I feared my mom’s death for as long as I can remember being alive. When she did go on to the next life, I thought my heart couldn’t take any more pain. My soul wanted to climb in her casket, put her arms around me and stay with her forever. But my mind wouldn’t let me. Then my son passed away. That pain was so unbearable that I  lost my will to live, but when faced with the choice to live or die. Life on earth won. So, I will live. It took me three and a half years to visit my son’s gravesite.  I really can’t tell you all the reasons for this, but when I did, I didn’t cry. I know where he is and it isn’t there. Now I live, I will soar. I have chosen to live, so I will live. So many things on my bucket list. So many people to love and help Life is a gift. I want to share this gift So I will live. At the time I wrote this, my idea of, “so I will live” was that I wouldn’t do anything unless it was fun. Well, that lasted for

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I want to play! I am alive!

  Why isn’t it morning? Everyone is still asleep! I want to play!! I am alive!   I was saved from the cancer beast! I want to shout from my balcony God loves you! You have great worth! You are more than you ever imagined! God lives!!   But with my joy, there is sadness. I want all of my friends to have the same outcome, I want all cancer to be cured.     All illness to be taken away. I want them to win as I have.   So with this joy is heartbreak. Sadness for the one’s who don’t win. Guilt for winning, when others lose, this battle of cancer. This battle of life.   With our Brother we all win. If we live today or die tomorrow,       We all win. All of our tomorrows are with Him.   If it is today or in the future, We will always be friends. We will all meet in the same place. With Him.

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I am weak, and I am happy, how can that be?

Ether 12:27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble: and grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me: for if they humble themselves before me and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. I am weak, and I am happy How can this be so? I realized that whatever the circumstance, I could choose happiness. This has definitely bit me in the butt many times. Sometimes out of no where, I don’t want to exist in this world any longer, it is just to hard. I feel unloved, unappreciated and why? I have the love of my life beside me, but life is hard for him also, and maybe, I make it harder for him by being by his side. I have a big family but with this big family comes many heartaches and horrible thoughts, I fight them off. Mothers Day Missing my mom, grandmother and my son. Feeling betrayed and unloved. It will not let it get to the best of me, I walk. I came across a field that was recently

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