PTSD, who doesn’t have it?

What is Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?

(This is Google’s description of PTSD)

“When in danger, it’s natural to feel afraid. This fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to prepare to defend against the danger or to avoid it. This “fight-or-flight” response is a healthy reaction meant to protect a person from harm. But in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), this reaction is changed or damaged. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they’re no longer in danger.

PTSD develops after a terrifying ordeal that involved physical harm or the threat of physical harm. The person who develops PTSD may have been the one who was harmed, the harm may have happened to a loved one, or the person may have witnessed a harmful event that happened to loved ones or strangers.

PTSD was first brought to public attention in relation to war veterans, but it can result from a variety of traumatic incidents, such as mugging, rape, torture, being kidnapped or held captive, child abuse, car accidents, train wrecks, plane crashes, bombings, or natural disasters such as floods or earthquakes.”

We had an incident of fighting last night and things go a little out of hand, with a bunch of male teenagers in the house, I am sure you can understand. I wondered if I had PTSD and it is confirmed. I tried and tried to go to sleep and all I could do was cry. My mind kept taking me to a little house in Goshen Idaho, and I just couldn’t feel safe. I felt threatened, unsafe and felt like I needed to flee, run away, get out of there. I doubted everything I have known of love and the feeling of being safe. I did sleep and then when I woke up in the morning, the tears kept coming and it has taken me quite some time to get in control. The tears are on demand, but I am working through this.

There are a few other stresses in my life right now, just getting done with the last chemo and waiting to see if the cancer is gone. Also, it is the time of the year that my son, Tex, passed away 3 years ago.  So my functioning level of life is a little off. The boys fighting and getting out of hand, just put me over the edge.

I cannot do this alone. I need someone to carry me when I can not walk, talk, and function. I need someone bigger than my husband, my dad, my friends… Bigger than life. I need my Savior Jesus Christ. That is the only way I can forgive, the only way I can move my life forward. So that is what I will do, one step at a time. This video really explains  how I feel. It is beautiful.