I had a flashback of Sr. year in high school as I woke up this morning. All I really wanted to be is a wife and a mom. Why was this not a respected career decision? I just had such a maternal instinct and was so excited to bring these children to this earth and raise my own. I could kiss and hug my own babies as much as I wanted. I did just that! I threw myself into motherhood. It was everything to me. This was the only career that I wanted to ace. In traditional schooling, my attitude was “C’s get degrees”! I graduated from high school with a 5th-grade reading level.
As a young mother, an older more experienced career woman told me that I was putting too much into my children. That when they were grown I would be sorry. I needed to work on me more and a career. What she didn’t realize was that by homeschooling my children, teaching all 5 of them to read in their own unique way, I learned to read at a college level. How could I have known that by explaining math pre-K through high school, prepared me for college math? To enhance my children’s skills, I was a 4-h leader for 18 years. We created a family band to encourage them to practice and gave us opportunities to travel. I worked from home raising and training horses and taught music lessons. I taught the children to do the same and now they are teaching their own children these skills. All of my children are semi or professional musicians and are involved with horses. Because of giving my life to my children, I developed skills that are needed today. By giving my life to my children, I found my life. My best friend from high school told me that I spent more time with my children than most people do in a lifetime.
Tragedy happened, the end of our eternal marriage after 25 years. We both remarried and threw our children into a blend families. Then our son unexpectedly died at 18 years old. Soon afterward I was diagnosed with stage 4 non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Quite honestly, I didn’t care if I lived or died. I had lived a good life at the ripe old age of 50. I had given it my all. But God has a plan for me and I live. I have no regrets. I have a new chance at life. I am in my second year of college. My husband and I have a marketing business that we are partners on. I also have my own business. My new positive affirmation is, “I am a lean mean grandma machine. “
There is no fear of living or dying for me. Gratitude for each day, thankfulness for each new breath, yumminess from each new grandchild and their sweet smell of newness! Motherhood grounds me. Being a wife teaches me to set healthy boundaries for myself,to give and love unconditionally, and to ultimately forgive. All my life I wanted to be a wife and a mom. It was the best career choice for me. It has pushed me to my limits, strengthened my soul, and has given me a reason tokeep on keepin’ on.