I remember standing in my crib and looking out the window and seeing the horses. My dad and uncle Paul owned them. Socks was my dad’s horse. They were beautiful and very entertaining for a one year old girl. “Horse” was naturally my first word. That was a little disappointing for my mother, but none the less it was my father who had to have been proud that his curly blond little dolly loved horses.
My dad has always liked fast things such as horse and motorcycles and me being a daddy’s girl, I did too. I remember climbing up the big barrow pit on my dad’s motorcycle and squealing with delight. Then he traded his motorcycle for a saddle and a young filly named, “Smokey.” It was the perfect name for this young 2 year old horse. She was dark smokey gray and when my dad kicked her in gear all you could see is smoke! I would ride behind him in the saddle and he would run like the wind and she could jump culverts and ditches in one stride. I wasn’t big enough, experienced enough or strong enough to ride her by myself so I always had to be on the back.
One day as I played with my friends in my yard my dad pulled up with the truck and trailer. That always caught my attention and to this little princesses’ delight, out jumped a tiny little pony, just 32″ tall and she was just my size! Her name was, “Baby doll” and I could ride her all by myself, and she did tricks. My dad was the only one who could get her to sit like a dog and then play dead. 
Baby Doll was my bicycle and my best friend all in one. She didn’t always live up to her name though. She had a mind of her own and she was all a little 5 year old could handle. She challenged me all the time from getting her to stand by the strawberry patch in the middle of the tractor tire so I could get on, to going through 4 inches of water in the ditch. I rode that little pony until my legs almost touched the ground. But I didn’t mind, I loved my Baby Doll.
I remember getting close to 8 years old and I saw this beautiful pinto horse named, “Princess” and a beautiful teenaged girl named “Kristy”. Kristy was visiting with my dad. I came close to my dad and snuck my hand in his for protection, because Princess was more than twice the size of Baby Doll and Kristy was at least 4 years older than me and together they were intimidating and so amazingly gorgeous, at the same time. Kristy would give Princess a command and Princess would do trick after trick. Much bigger tricks than Baby Doll. Princess would side pass, pivot on her hind legs and then pivot on her front end. She had so many gates such as walk, trot, long trot, slow lope, and fast, oh so fast, (I came to find out she was even faster than Smokey! ) She would even stop when you asked her to. Baby Doll had 3 speeds, walk, trot, trot really fast as you kick with all your might and then lope. If she saw some grass that looked really good she would just stop and start eating. You would fall off the front. The trick was to hold onto the reigns so you could get back on, or you would have to walk home. In some ways Princess was a bigger challenge than my little pony such as; How would I be able to get on this big giant of a horse? I felt more comfortable riding bareback than a saddle and the fall was much higher.
I was so beyond belief that my dad believed that I was ready from such a gorgeous animal. A smaller little girl really needed a little pony and this girl was ready for her very own “Princess.” I trusted my dad enough to graduate myself from Baby Doll to Princess. I was a scared little girl that trusted her dad enough to believe in herself.
Princess was a big step, but it wasn’t long until my younger siblings needed Princess and I graduated to Smokey.
I don’t know the day this happened because Smokey was just a part of my life from Baby Doll days. I competed on Smokey for several years. I participated in 4-h, rodeo queen contests and high school rodeo. My parents payed for me to have lessons from Miss Rodeo Idaho and she was also an attendant to Miss Rodeo America. She was several years older than me and even rode the school bus with me. She was a friend and my coach and I will always admire her.
With the advice from my coach, my mom made me a turquoise suite from head to toe. I accented it with black hat boots and scarf. We were a smashing pair. Smokey and I could do it all. She new all my secrets, she was my soul mate! I was 15 years old and we had won many trophies, ribbons, and my first queen contest. It took me 7 years to get “queening” together and Smokey took me there. She was my transportation to cheerleading practice and piano lessons. We were very competitive at goat tying in high school rodeo. Smokey was a solid parade horse and mountain horse. She would take me on trail rides and hunting trips in the mountains.
So. why not go for barrel racing? Smokey had a heart of gold and she gave me her all. To my frustration we weren’t winning at barrel racing, we needed to be faster. My dad brought me home a fancy barrel racing whip so I could spank Smokey to speed it up on the way home. My rodeo queen coach was pushing Smokey to the limit in the arena, we needed to get more to be competitive.
Smokey got an attitude. Smokey wouldn’t let me catch her, I was late for many rodeos. When we got to the arena, she would refuse to go in. She would rear up, arch her head and stomp her feet. I was so confused. I thought to myself, “How could this be happening? We were such a great pair!” She new all my secrets, my mom used to say, “It’s a good thing she can’t talk.” She was my soul mate! Why was she betraying me now? My dad would have to lead her into the arena and then she would do “pretty good”, but I needed more! My coach and dad discussed the situation.
They soon realized that Smokey was giving us her all. She would do her best and then it wasn’t good enough. It was just like the time I sold pony rides on Baby Doll all day long and earned $5. My mom was upset because I should be giving my friends rides. That took care of that, I would only give free rides if I felt like sharing, and that wasn’t very often!
It was a sad emotional day when I realized that I had grown out of Smokey. I honestly needed something faster and with just more natural talent. Smokey had the heart to do it all. But her small frame and breeding just wasn’t there for all my needs. I was very attached to her and nothing will ever take her place.
Meanwhile, my dad was priming me for that special horse, “Ace.” Ace was now 4 years old and well trained by my dad. Ace was a son of a famous race horse, Alamitos Bars, and my beloved Princess. I watched my dad train him and teach him the commands. I was now 16 years old and he handed me the reigns. He was my horse, my very own horse. I believed that their would never be a 
man that could take the place of my beloved Ace. Chocolate brown, blaze face and two white hind socks. He was a looker and I was his queen. He took me to the moon and back. My coach believed in this team and we went as far as we wanted. I retired from the queen life when I turned 19 years old. I was ready for new challenges and experiences.
Smokey lessons-
- When someone is giving their best, it is enough.
- When in a relationship it is ok to walk away if you are in danger, if they are hurting you, and if you cannot grow because of them holding you back. I have been in several relationships that were toxic for me. If I had stayed in these relationships I could have lost my life. I stayed too long because was emotionally attached.
- When you are in a business, especially a home based business with a team, step out of the box and look at the big picture. You may love the people, the product and the trainings, etc. But if it is costing you more than you make, and if it is causing you to be in debt, you may too emotionally involved to see the whole picture. I have been an entrepreneur since I sold my 1st pony ride on Baby Doll. I naturally fell into home based business mode. I have a masters degree in ,”Try every home based business there is and get emotionally involved and you may pay a big price” It has taught me well and now I recognize when a company is attracting people through emotion and actual facts and science. I recognize when I am really profiting financially and also when I am doing something for a hobby.
- What you want, is not always what you need.
- To love, let go, move forward.
- Famous people are just people. I believe in anyone who believes in them self. When my 18 year old son tells me he is going to create and deposite $100,000 by this Fall, I believe him. And by the way he is right on track. Yes,
- People are people no matter what their title is.
- Life is full of disappointments in one moment and sunshine the next.
- I learned that we are capable of more than we think.
- Love your own personal journey.
For me my “Baby Doll” years were the happy go lucky, very little responsibility years. In my life perspective now, that would represent my life from birth to marriage. You have to admit that my growing up years were quite amazing.
My “Princess” years were very short, just like my first marriage of 25 years, I was only a Princess for a very short time.
My “Smokey” years were my growing up years. I wanted to live happily ever after but it just wasn’t to be. The safety of me and my children were at stake. I was very emotionally attached to my life, my home and marriage, I really wanted it to work. I can honestly say I gave it my best. Suddenly, I found myself as a single mom with 5 children, 2 grown and 3 needing me to lead the way.
I was given the reigns to my new life, “Ace” again it is much bigger than me, overwhelming , fast and powerful. I have an “Ace” of a husband now, we 14 children between us and now 14 grandchildren. Like Ace my horse, when you give him his head he would run so fast your eyes would water. New experiences are coming now all the time and I have to admit that my eyes water a lot.
My dad saw the big picture. My dad was always one step ahead of me and ready to help me succeed with the next challenge. There is always a new challenge one bigger and better than the last.
Years later I heard that my beloved Smokey was still alive and giving little children the horse experience. I was in the area and headed down to the coral to visit my girl. She was 35 years old, now that is very old for a horse! To my surprise she was almost white and she had a really fat neck. But when I called her name she remembered me. She forgave me for spanking her rump and came right over to me. I rubbed her old head and gave her a big hug. Crucial life decisions were made during Smokey’s 35 years of life. She watched me as a child of 4 years old until I was a mom with my own children. Lessons learned during this time period are my foundation of life and I am so grateful Smokey was apart of it.
Baby Doll, Smokey and Ace are all in horse heaven now, but the lessons I learned with them will last through the eternities and will help me keep my eye on the “Big Picture” and “One Step Ahead”