I feared my mom’s death for as long as I can remember being alive.
When she did go on to the next life, I thought my heart couldn’t take any more pain. My soul wanted to climb in her casket, put her arms around me and stay with her forever. But my mind wouldn’t let me.
Then my son passed away. That pain was so unbearable that I lost my will to live, but when faced with the choice to live or die. Life on earth won. So, I will live.
It took me three and a half years to visit my son’s gravesite. I really can’t tell you all the reasons for this, but when I did, I didn’t cry. I know where he is and it isn’t there.
Now I live, I will soar.
I have chosen to live, so I will live.
So many things on my bucket list.
So many people to love and help
Life is a gift.
I want to share this gift
So I will live.
At the time I wrote this, my idea of, “so I will live” was that I wouldn’t do anything unless it was fun. Well, that lasted for about 2 years. Shopping was fun for me. Getting a good deal was thrilling! Then I realized that I needed to do something with my shopping. I took a quick class on small business and started an eBay business. That led to ” I think I should go to college.” That led to, “I am going to get my Bachelors degree.” That leads to, “I am not having fun! ” I have found that learning is rewarding and not always fun.
Since then I have been in many speech contests preparing me for the ultimate goal, a TEDx talk. Finally, after 6 tries, I was able to give a TEDx talk. That was hard and not always fun. It is an accomplishment and brings me joy.
So I will live. I will live a life of pushing harder, looking forward and continuing to learn. My “So I will live” is forever changing. How about you?
Death changes you.
Life changes you.
Easter is a time to remember.
Life
Death
So I will live