So many thoughts were going through this bald head of mine…

So many thoughts have gone through this bald head of mine that I haven’t been able to write. I was visiting with the nurse to my Idaho Doctor that found the cancer in my body. She told me that when they saw the CAT scan they thought I only had a week left to live.

I remember all the  doctors I went to the first week,  gave me the feeling that I was going to die.

But I truly felt that it was my choice to live or die and because I made that choice to live, it would all work out.

One close friend asked if I yelled at the Doctor when he recommended me to go to a radiation oncologist and that I was not done with this process. Actually I kinda did, he said.” We talked about that you may need to have radiation,” I said,” No you didn’t! ”

In my mind I was done and was cancer free.  But that may not be so. There is a spot in my stomach that lit up with the PET scan. It may be a spot of lymphoma and it may be scare tissue.

It took me a while to process all of this. I caught myself saying,”This may be my last Christmas” and,”This may be my last……”

So we are headed back to Huntsmans hospital before Christmas because my doctor doesn’t want me to wait.

But I realize we all don’t know what tomorrow brings. So we don’t need to worry ourselves sick over it. Just live and love. So that is what I will do. Live to the best of my ability, love with my whole being and give my heart freely.

PS. I am really not bald, my hair is just skin colored. (borrowed that from my aunt)