There is a 75% chance that I will live is what I heard from the doctor. That 25% try’s to get the best of me. I know the cancer is being killed by the RCHOP treatments. As mouth sores get worse, my gums bleed, my heart pumps hard, my legs aches, I get hot flashes, and then the chills, not to mention the nausea. I wonder if this body has the fight within to beat the cancer and survive RCHOP or Chemo?
Yesterday was one of those days, the tears just wouldn’t stop. Jim said,” we are getting out of here” so we jumped into the car and went to the big town of Rexburg. It was a warm Fall day and the first stop was Maverik (a convenience store/gas station). I usually get a green tea, but I was feeling a little more adventurous. I surprised my husband by getting a large coke freeze. I haven’t had caffeine for months because it was making my heart pump hard. But I slurped that down pretty darn fast and I think it made my heart start pumping!
We ran some errands, I even started making jokes and laughing. Jim took me to where I needed to go and was so patient and made himself useful. One of those errands was I needed a bra. I was wondering,”Why spend the money on a bra if I am just going to die.” But Jim assured me that if I am not cured from all cancer in 33 days then they will start other processes, radiation, bone marrow transplant, and there are all kinds of different procedures.
We went to Downeast and Jim bought me several basic shirts that I have been putting off buying. Now I have 2 new bra’s, several new shirts, and my husband makes my world start turning again. I have so many fun new clothing that have come my way, so many lovely hats and scarves.
This is what marriage is all about. He doesn’t let me give up and won’t even entertain the option of me dying. So I will live and love him like it is my last day, but knowing that we have forever.
75% is the number you have to see!!! I know it must be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but for your family, concentrate on that!!! You can effing do this!!!! You are a Type 3, strength is in your nature!
Carol you are in my prayers and thoughts alway! You are a special lady with a special Spirit. And yes, husbands are great! While my problems are nothing like yours, when I had a particularly difficult surgery two years ago my husband had to care for me (entirely). Always assuring and encouraging me. So, God Bless these good men we gave and God Bless you two!!