Small Horse with a Big Try

Smokey had heart,

She was a small horse with a big heart

Her try was bigger than her why

I asked, she did

Then I asked for more

She did

More

Did

More

It was all she had, she tried, but it was not enough

She balked

I spanked

I said, I need more!

I was ready for more!  

The horse with the big heart and a bigger try was not enough

Smokey was too much of a horse for me when I was 10 years old. She was my dad’s horse and she seemed to do it all. Then my dad said I was ready for her. She pushed me to become a better rider.  I won ribbon after ribbon in the show ring. I wanted more. I took her to a higher level, rodeo queen contests. She took me to the top. This little horse had a big heart and even more try. I wanted more from her. So, we challenged her to the rodeo arena in goat tying. We were winning! I put her against the tall race horses in barrel racing. She tried, she had heart, it was not enough. I asked for more, she refused to go into the arena because she would do her best and I would take the bat out and spank her all the way home. I needed more! I depended on her for my success. She wouldn’t let me catch her. I was mad. She would rear and stomp when we came near the arena. I would cuss and spank.  Then my dad realized what we were doing to this little horse with a big heart and a bigger try.

We were telling her that her best was not enough.

I needed to let her be enough.

And she was.

I have found in my life that Satan’s biggest lie is that we are not enough. We can do our best and it isn’t enough. Others do their best and it is not enough.

Often it is an easy task to be enough. To be healed. Just as in the time of Moses. The people were bitten by fiery serpents and to be healed they only needed to look.

Numbers 21:9 Moses made a bronze serpent and set it on the stand: and it came about, that if a serpent bit any man, when he looked to the bronze serpent, he lived.

1:Nephi 17:41 And he did straiten them in the wilderness with his rod; for they hardened their hearts, even as ye have; and the Lord straitened them because of their iniquity. He sent fiery flying serpents among them; and after they were bitten he prepared a way that they might be healed; and the labor which they had to perform was to look; and because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it, there were many who perished.

 Alma 33:20 But few understood the meaning of those things, and this because of the hardness of their hearts. But there were many who were so hardened that they would not look, therefore they perished. Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would ^aheal them.

We can look within ourselves and give permission to do our best and let it be enough.

I see families where the parents are feeling the pressure of 2 or 3 jobs trying to make a living, give their children the opportunities of life, having babies and working hard, very hard. I see moms having their own business, raising children, being involved in the community and trying to keep their figures to perfection. I see fathers working one or two jobs, playing, teaching, being coaches and leader for their children. All while taking their wife out on an occasional date, to remember why they got married and what this is all about.

No wonder when a spouse implements that the other one is not enough, they want to give up. We do it all for the ones we love and also try to be the best we can be and we are not enough. We are hard. We are hard on ourselves, we are hard on our children, we are hard on our eternal companion.

I also am hard. I need to remind myself to look. Look at the good. Look at the heart and be enough. Understand that we are all doing our best and if someone is not, it is on them. Look at them with a soft heart. We really don’t know what is going on in their head and heart. Just believe in the human race that we are all trying and doing our best.

Love, look and be enough for yourself,

 let your spouse be enough,

let your children be enough,

 let your parents be enough,

let your friends be enough,

and yes, let your enemy be enough, and mostly

let your horse with a big heart and a bigger try be enough.  

Smokey on the left with her new colt. Ace my fast, bigger horse and me looking at the new addition to our herd. 1982