I just came across this in my documents, I wrote this 7-8-15. This is before I knew what kind of cancer experience I was going to have. The doctors believed that I wasn’t going to live more than a week. I went to the musical,”Cats” with my girlfriends at BYU-I, and Jim stayed home and called Huntsman’s Hospital and the made arrangements that saved my life.
I am smiling to myself, the part that says, “A short haircut will do” I had no idea what that really meant. Yes, I am 52 years old, and a short haircut will do! I am alive and I am living life and loving it. Jim never changes, he is my rock, he is the mashed potatoes and I am the gravy! 
The surgeon reads a very long CT scan report
I feel dizzy and find it hard to breath
There is nothing he can do
There is a foreign growth around all my organs and I need them
It is most likely cancer.
Does this means a slow death or get well soon?
The only way to get rid of it is to shrink it.
I am tired, but I think I will go to see ,”Cats” with my girlfriends.
I am worried sick,
A “port” seems so intrusive, and the papers are signed to insert one.
I may loose my beautiful hair, a short haircut will do.
When will I die? 51 or 91?
or is death really the worry?
I want to live life and love it
I will